Exposure Therapy

Hot take: fueling your anxiety by isolating yourself and doom scrolling won't actually make you feel better in the long run, even if it feels easiest in the moment. As someone who spent three years of their life working remotely and not leaving their house unless it was urgent, I feel like I lived the life of a ghost, watching others adventures and exploring the world while I stayed shut off from it all, at home writing, gaming, playing guitar, and doing everything and anything besides facing the things that truly bothered me.

Granted, this was during the time period of COVID, so a couple of those years weren't entirely my choice. When all of the restrictions ended and I was able to leave, I found myself not remembering how to enjoy myself going out, how not to worry myself to the point of a panic attack at the thought of going to the grocery store.

When I finally got myself into therapy, which I think is the best form of self love anyone can do for themselves, my therapist told me that I needed to push myself in small intervals to do things that put me outside of that comfort zone. She told me to schedule little get togethers out with friends and people I felt safe with, so that I could reprogram going out to be something I could look forward to and potentially enjoy.

Something else I started doing was to push myself to do things that terrified me, which I'm still somewhat ashamed to admit was a lot. I hadn't been perceived in three years, and suddenly I was allowed to be back in crowds and spaces that often made me forget to breathe. I realized then that I was able to compromise with myself- I can go out in public without having to overwhelm myself in a crowd. I can make small journeys that feel fulfilling without also causing a breakdown. I also realized that I deserved to make a plan to fix that feeling for myself, so that I could do the things I often found myself needing to do without living in fear gut wrenching anxiety.

I hope that if you can relate to any of what I've shared or suffer from any form of public anxiety, you can find a way to still live a peaceful life without having to push yourself to the limits. You deserve to feel good in your own body, and there is always a way for you to get there.

Love,

Court